Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat
Standing Beneath Montana’s Sky, I Realized the Secret to Contentment
🤯 Cheryl.wTf 🍴 | 🔔 Subscribe | 📖 Shop Books | 👕 Shop Merch
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat,
How I wonder where I'm at?
Feeling lost in a world so busy
Like a bubble in a drink so fizzy
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
How I wonder where you are?
You used to shine so in the sky
Guiding us in days gone by
I look up at my small slice of Pennsylvania sky, it doesn’t look the same as it did when I was a kid. There are so few stars in the sky, I can count each and every one now. I know them like I know the freckles on my arm. I feel fragile and out of control, like a bubble in a fizzy drink labeled 'Drink Me.' I feel too big in a world too small, like Alice in the White Rabbit's house after growing 3 sizes too large. It's awkward and ill fitting. I keep bumping my elbows against the window panes, my head against the roof, my foot broke down the front door quite some time ago, and everyone keeps vaguely demanding I do something I can't. Yet those demands are so muffled, I can't actually make out what they are saying and somehow that's worse and makes me all the more anxious about everything and nothing all at once. Then the panic sets in and I'm afraid the only way I'll get out of this whole situation will be wholly…
Unpleasant.
I am left with this feeling I can't shake. I'm fairly certain there is a solution here somewhere if I only I could remember… this thing I have forgotten before it disappears like a dream dissolving in the morning light.
If only I could remember, what it was like…
Montana is called big sky country but being from the undulating, tree choked mountains of Pennsylvania, it was impossible to truly grasp what that meant until I was standing there in the vast openness, in the pitch black of midnight when I was just 14 years old. There had always been more stars in the sky than I could count, but this… this overwhelming, multitude of cold, pinpricks of light dotting the sky like blades of grass dot the earth, was…
Humbling.
It forced me to contemplate just how impossibly tiny I was, standing there alone on a wide open patch of land, on a planet so large I'll never see a fraction of it, hurtling through space around a sun that was just another tiny pinprick of light in a universe so large that the only way to travel through it…
was in my imagination.
Humbling.
It made me feel small in a way that was reassuring, relieving.
We always talk about gaining a bird's eye view; to be above, removed, independent, capable of seeing, knowing, more and through that being more, being superior. And yet we also talk about how someone can be as frail and fragile…
as a bird.
We never talk about this ant's eye view; to be infinitesimally small, unimportant, insignificant, capable of being mighty, full of possibility, and yet, at the same time, not better than anything else, and no need to be better than anything else…
Humble.
I looked up at that sky and I felt small, but I did not feel alone, and I was at peace with that feeling. When I finally looked down again, I was standing in the middle of herd of deer, so close I could reach out and almost brush against them. I was not alone, and…
They were at peace with my place in the world.
Now, I look up at my small slice of Pennsylvania sky, it doesn’t look the same as it did when I was a kid. There are so few stars in the sky, I can count each and every one now. I know them like I know the freckles on my arm. I feel fragile and out of control, like a bubble in a fizzy drink.
Why am I not at peace with my place in the world?
The panic sets in and I'm afraid the only way I'll get out of this whole situation that I call life will be wholly…
Unpleasant.
I am left with this feeling I can't shake.
I'm fairly certain there is a solution here somewhere if I only I could remember… this thing I have forgotten before it disappears…
Like a dream dissolving in the morning light.
If only I could remember, what it was like…
When I was small.
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little One
Take a breathe and come undone
You do not have to be the best
Nor better than all the rest
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little One
Take a breathe and come undone
You're not alone, we're all right here
In the herd, the peace of deer
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little One
Take a breathe and come undone
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat
It doesn’t matter where you’re at
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I’m just a left handed girl in a right handed world trying to figure out
“What the Fork🍴?!?” is going on ~ 🤯 Cheryl.wTf 🍴
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