"What the..."
I'm just a left handed girl living in a right handed world.
*POP*
"What'd I miss?" Ophelia asked. Without pausing for an answer, she continued, "Are we still talking to our new friends? Did you tell them about me?"
"Yes, and we told them all about you on your Substack page. Though maybe you can answer a question for me. I heard a rumor that a Doxie's color can also be an indicator of your age. Is that true?
"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement." Ophelia responded with a twinkle in her eye. Did I mention she's a bit mischievous?
"I was about to tell them a bit about myself."
"Let me! Let me! Hi everyone, I'm Ophelia🌈! Cheryl is my bestest friend in the whole of all the worlds! She can't fly, which is really sad. Her head is covered in bluish fur, but sometimes it's pink and sometimes it's purple and sometimes it's multi-colored." She turned toward me. “So how old does that make you?”
"Hair, Ophelia, I have hair on top of my head, right where it's supposed to be and it’s not an indicator of my age. It’s also not polite to ask someone their age."
"Right, yes, and it's really springy! It's so much fun to grab a bunch at the end and jump off her shoulder. It's sort of like bungee jumping!"
"Is that why you're always pulling my hair? I'm not a carnival ride!"
Ignoring me, she continued, "Let's see, what else can I tell you? Hmm...Cheryl is descendant from an ancient sage, revolutionaries, founding fathers - whatever those are- and a couple of Salem Witches.” Turning around to talk to me again, “Is that how you came to be a business witch? Is it a family business?”
“Ah, not exactly. Though there are a lot of entrepreneurs in my family.”
“Huh? Ok. Well…” she said, turning back toward you, our new friend, “She's spent a lifetime studying stuff…I know she told me which stuff…pillow-stuffy? No, that's not it. Philo-lots-a-stuffy? No, hmmm…ideas and beliefs and wise stuff written by dead guys! And she spends lots of time helping business owners like me make better businesses! Hmm…what else? She also draws A-MAZ-ING pictures of my friends and I! Can we show them the pictures?"
"Maybe later Ophelia! Our new friends aren't here to see drawings of you, they're here…” I blinked and suddently I was standing in an art gallery surrounded by giant polaroid pictures of my cartoon drawings. Ophelia, what on Earth…”
“Not actually Earth, but do you like it?”
“I’m, ah, well, speechless. This is wild! What do you mean, not actually Earth? What happened to our new friends?”
“They’re here too! Look!” Ophelia pointed behind me.
Ophelia held up the pen she was holding as a pretend microphone and started up again. "Cheryl loves to solve problems, especially if doing so helps people! She’s neurodi… what’s that word again?”
“Neurodivergent?”
“Yes! That! She thinks differently than other people and that helps her give others ‘ah-ha’ light-bulb moments. She might be shy at first - that’s the autism, but once you get her talking - that’s the ADHD- she's got all kinds of wisdom locked up inside her noggin and it's just bursting to get out, like an elephant in a room full of mice! She does all this from her inter-dimensional habitation spac--"
"Seriously, Ophelia? We talked about this."
"What? Oh. Fine. She said I should just say 'From her home in Pennsylvania, so I don't confuse people.'
"Thank you." I reached for her microphone in hopes of preventing her from rambling on for too long.
"Wait! I'm not done yet!," yelled Ophelia. “I didn’t tell them about the Business Witch Academy!”
"Let's wrap it up. We don't want to bore people."
"But I have more stories about your clients. They're all so awesome!"
I gave her a look. “You can talk about the Business Witch Academy on the other Substack.”
"Fine. I guess you should just ask her yourself. She has lots of great stories to tell. Well, I think that's about it. Oh, and make sure you walk through door number 3, ok?" said Ophelia. Then she disappeared in a shower of sparks. A moment later she appeared again and asked, "Um…how do you feel about blue Jello? Never mind, we'll find out soon," and she disappeared again.
“Well, that was overly dramatic. Sorry about that, she gets carried away sometimes.
“I'm sure by now you're wondering how I came to be friends with a Doxie. Well, that's sort of a long story involving a centuries old mystery, international travel, mind altering substances, and the trip of a lifetime.
“For now, suffice it to say, Ophelia is my best friend, one of my students at the academy and quite a character.
“Well, I’ve kept you here long enough. Let me just sum things up real quick…
I'm just a left handed girl living in a right handed world.
I blend Eastern Philosophies like Zen and Budhism with Western Culture to figure out better ways to exist as a neurodivergent auDHDer woman in a world that wasn't built for me.
I’m going from “What the…” to “Wicked Transformations” and I hope you’ll join me on the journey of a lifetime. I’m Cheryl.wTf.
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